There will be a short test at the end.
Posit. I am Derek Draper.
I am tasked with setting up a blog for the Labour party, a blog which will have the professionalism of Conservativehome and the authentic grassroots flavour of Lib Dem Voice, a blog which will challenge the contention that the left has run out of intellectual steam and retake control of the political internet.
Tricky.
I have three big problems. (1) Everybody hates me, (2) most people hate Labour, (3) certain individuals who fall into groups (1) and (2) already have extremely powerful political blogs and will not hesitate to pour guano over a new Labour contender. After all, the failure of Labourhome to make the grade is well documented in the blogosphere, acknowledged by Blears herself no less. Bloody Blears.
What do I do?
I create a blog called Labourlist.org. A blog associated overwhelmingly with my personal – and tarnished – brand. A blog whose very name indicates a lurching, sinking motion. A blog so comically badly designed that techies all over the internet twitter in disbelief about how rubbish it is. A blog which quickly descends, in its comment moderation policy, into the kind of tinpot authoritarianism that the likes of Guido and Dale are just itching to catch a whiff off.
I do all this.
I let it stew a while.
Then, just as the rest of the political internet has finished wiping its eyes and laughing itself sick… another blog appears. This one does not have quite such a ridiculous name. This one uses a smooth, shiny, WordPress-ready template with no hitches or glitches. This one is not run by me. In fact it is run by “grassroots activists” who are expressly opposed to my heavy comment moderation policy. I have “kindly agreed” to share the content of Labourlist, so that they may, in effect, run a blog in direct competition to mine except with a more welcoming comment moderation policy.
Result. A blog that everyone is suddenly inclined to praise, or at least meet with an open mind, because it is run by “grassroots activists”, because it is open to allcomers. And above all because it’s nothing to do with me. And no matter how bad it gets, it can never be as bad as that original repository of internet hatred, Labourlist.
Cunning, eh? I must report back to Lord M.
Phew. Yuck. It is I, Mortimer again. Here is your test: which is the scarier possibility? Is it (a) that I am right in drawing the above scenario or (b) that I am not right and Draper and co really are that rubbish?
January 16, 2009 at 9:31 pm
I’m pretty convinced Labourist is actually designed to do damage to Labourlist.org. I think you’re crediting Dolly Draper with a lot more cleverness than he actually has.
Well, unless he registered labourist.org in the name of Dolly Draper himself as a double bluff
January 16, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Pissing myself! Haha! Awesome post.
Poor old Derek
January 16, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Check IST’s About page. Not Drapery.
January 16, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Check IST’s WHOIS. Not Drapery. Unless he’s a masochist. Oh, wait…
January 17, 2009 at 12:08 am
[...] Alix Mortimer’s interpretation of this new development. Priceless. And [...]
January 17, 2009 at 6:37 am
A shrewd assessment indeed, although slightly wide of the mark. Charlotte hit the nail on the head…
January 17, 2009 at 9:16 am
And the Daily Mail have kidnapped Mandy’s Second Life, priceless.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1120106/What-happened-took-Mandys-avatar-Second-Life.html
January 17, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Oh Mortimer, what ARE you doing paying them attention? that’s what they WANT!
January 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm
“Charlotte hit the nail on the head”
“someone like Devil’s Kitchen”
But not actually DK. It’s a fairly standard WordPress template with a few tweaks, and a basic favicon. DK’s a much better designer than that, and he’s on record as disliking WordPress.
The ‘blogroll’ gives it away, all the links are to MessageSpace sites, I mean who reads Recess Monkey these days? It’s Hilton/Staines/Dale or someone linked to them.
January 17, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Ah but it’s not the identity of the webmaster that I nailed…
“Labourist is actually designed to do damage to Labourlist.org.”
January 17, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Well yeah, sorry, thought that was an obvious agreement—the MessageSpace group aren’t exactly known for their support of New Labour.
(perhaps ought to separate: I am referring to the people that set up or promote/back MS, not the company itself, with which I have no beef whatsoever)
January 19, 2009 at 11:05 am
Hanlon’s razor, for those that know it, states that one should shy away from putting something down to conspiracy when it can be perfectly well explained as cock-up.*
Draper has brown fingers; look at his career.
*ok, for the pedantic or aphoristic: “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
January 22, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I don’t know that it was such a good idea to mention The Evil People Who Shall Not Be Named.
Apologies for writing the link
January 22, 2009 at 9:14 pm
[...] Paranoia, paranoia… on Alix Mortimer’s The People’s Republic of Mortimer blog. ‘I am Derek Draper. … I have [...]
January 23, 2009 at 12:36 am
[...] Paranoia, paranoia… on Alix Mortimer’s The People’s Republic of Mortimer blog. ‘I am Derek Draper. … I have [...]