To th’editor of the Telegraph 

Sir,I am humbled and astonished to discover from today’s article on Ming Campbell that many subtle nuances had been concealed from me on the Lib Dem Voice thread to which I contributed on 8-11th October. Not the least astonishing thing was that I have evidently been getting the name of the website wrong. And so have the site administrators. “Liberal Voice” you say? Well, I shall endeavour to remember it.

How relieved I am that you were able to point out that the entire thread was “swamped” with messages demanding the resignation of Ming, when left to my own feeble devices I would have counted seven people opining this out of a total of 28 posters. You see, I was foolishly under the impression that we were discussing the topic headlined at the top, which was: “We need to think about where we want to be in 18 months time”. Accordingly, many of us were proceeding with a separate discussion about the nature of communications in the party. How thankful we all are that you have clarified matters for us. Long live the broadsheet press. For I am sure that, had any of the people whose views were not quoted had anything useful or relevant to say, you would have adjudged them worthy of inclusion.

So imagine my surprise on discovering that I, sir, am not quoted once, not even where I (rather pithily if I do say so myself) tear into very small pieces the anonymous contributor (whom you do quote) for not being able to form a sentence properly. On this point I have one further cavil – you actually quote him/her twice in the apparent belief that he/she is two different people. If readers return to the thread they will see that two of your quotes from allegedly different sources actually come from the same anonymous post. It is odd that you did not spot this yourselves, but then after all you are only human. I am sure that is the explanation, and you would never knowingly quote one untraceable person twice to give an impression of bolstered numbers.

Touching that subject, I see that you also have tidied up his/her grammar – well done! It is very good to know that journalists are doing their job properly.

I remain, sir, etc

Am I going to send it? Of course not! Why waste valuable storage space in my Hotmail sent box when I can bung a few buzzwords into the blog title and get googled for free?